This morning, driving to work in an empty car, without the sound of Little Man in the backseat going on about something, and with very few cars on the road, I had mixed emotions. Here I am, for the first time EVER, that I am working the day after Thanksgiving. I realize that there are LOTS of people who have to work, I just never expected that I would be one of those people. It's not that my job is particularly important, or that there is a lot going on, or even many people here, but unfortunately, I don't have the annual leave to take, to spend the day with my family. Most likely, I won't get a lot done today, and that's okay. Most likely, I will only see one other person in the building today, and that's okay.

Past Black Fridays have included HOURS of fighting the crowds shopping, or servers crashing. My house is a mess, and I left the guys at home, snuggled in their warm beds while I got up and left for work. The good thing is that because I come into work so early, I get to leave early afternoon.

We will still be able to keep some of our traiditions for this day. Paul and I will still watch Christmas Vacation, after Little Man goes to bed. We will still have leftovers, just for dinner rather than lunch. I will start to kick into high gear for Christmas preparations, trying to figure out the perfect present for each person, while staying within our set budget.

Today I am thankful that I have a warm place to work, to help support our family, even when it means having to be away from the house when I would rather be there. I am also thankful for the experiences I had teaching. Teaching is the hardest job I have had outside the home, and many days, especially early, I loved it, and many, many days, I hated it. One thing is true though, I never really appreciated the hidden perks of teaching. There was never any questions of whether or not I would be home for holidays, and the days surrounding them. I didn't have to hoard sick or personal days in order to spend that time with my family. I knew that we could get up and go at any point during the summer for a quick vacation. Sure, I had classes to take, and lessons to write, and curriculum to review and revamp, but a lot of that I could do at my own pace, on my terms, without the restriction of having to take vacation days to spend extra time with my family. These things did NOT make up for the stress I suffered, and the anxiety the plagued me, or the HOURS of sleep I lost due to worry, or the fact that my body decided that it would rebel against me so many times, forcing me to slow down. I don't regret the time I spent in the classroom, nor do I regret leaving it.

Summer Trio

Our CSA at Brad's Produce has officially begun, and we have started getting some of our favorites. Last summer, we were introduced to cucumber dip by the ladies at the farm, and it quickly became one of our favorites. We get so many cucumbers, we don't know what to do with them, so this is a nice way to use them. Unfortunately, it is not super low calorie, by any means, but we are working on making some small changes to help with that.

Cucumber Dip

8 oz cream cheese

1/3 cup mayo

1 medium cucumber, seeded and chopped

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp dill

Combine cream cheese, mayo, garlic and dill until smooth. Add cucumber and stir until well mixed. Best if made day ahead.

This dip is so simple, and versatile. It is great on crackers, especially pita crackers, and we also find it nice on turkey sandwiches. We up the garlic, dill and cucumber, to make it crunchier, and we love the flavor of dill. Last night when I was making this, Paul said that he loves the flavor of dill and thinks that it is not in enough foods that we eat. This brought us to adding more and more dill to the dip, and talking about the fact that you can't have cream cheese and cucumber without dill, the perfect summer trio.

This week, instead of eating it as a dip, we are using it as the spread on our turkey sandwiches for lunch. It gives us the creaminess of mayo, and the crunchiness of the cucumbers, all in one. Now just to figure out a way to cut some of the calories. 

 In high school I was a middle-long distance runner who "specialized" in the 800m, mostly because I wouldn't be lapped and I wouldn't make a complete fool of myself. With all the miles I put in as a high school runner, I never ran any of the 5k races that were in the area, one of which I volunteered for on a few occasions. This past fall, as part of our "School Improvement Plan," a small group of teachers started training for a 5k a little later that fall, and they tried to get me run in the race, but I had an excuse. It was a good excuse, but an excuse nonetheless. Paul and I were going away that weekend for our anniversary, our first time away from Little Man together. With that excuse, it also gave me the excuse to only half attempt to put forth the effort to stick to a 5k training program. Paul and I talked, and agreed that a good goal for me would be to run in the annual town run in June, so I knew I had some time. Once or twice a week, when I "had time," I would strap on my running shoes and "wog" through Havre de Grace, most of the time worried I would see a student and they would think how ridiculous I looked and that I would embarrass myself. This led em to strap on my shoes even less, thinking, "I can go tomorrow," but when tomorrow came, it was always the same excuse. Then it got cold outside, another excuse. About 3 weeks ago I sat down, got a firm date for the town run I wanted to do, and made a calendar to map out my training. That day I realized that now was the time, and that day was the day I needed to start if I was going to be even remotely ready for the race the first weekend of June.

Today I started week 3 of a 10 week 5k training program. Over the past two weeks I have been really good at getting out there for the early part of the week. The program has me "running" three days a week right now, with rest days between. Mondays and Wednesdays I am ready to go as soon as I get home from school, ready to tackle the challenge laid out before me for that day, and try to get it done before Paul and Little Man get home, a challenge some days. But come Friday, the last thing I was to do is lace up the shoes and hit the pavement. Come Friday I am exhausted from school, and all I want to do is come home and relax. This is something I need to get over, and just do. I haven't quite figured out what will get me out of my "Friday funk," but it has to change.

Little Man has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, and since I do not have my AP kids today, I decided to take the day, and spend it with him. Today is also a run day, and this means that either I was going to take Little Man out with me, or I would have to wait until after we did our errands this evening, likely after Little Man went to bed, and this just wouldn't happen. So, after Little Man had breakfast, I bundled him up some, and we went to get the bike cart/jogging stroller put together to go out for our training. It took me quite a while to figure out how the cart went together, but I finally managed to get it all together and Little Man strapped in, and off we went. I had these grand ideas that pushing Little Man around would be no harder than when I normally go out, but boy was I wrong. Was I able to jog the entire time indicated in my plan? Absolutely not, but I kept going. I  pushed him up and down hills, jogging when I could and pushing forward.

Snowy Days

January 3 - All three of us were able to stay home due to snow.  Paul actually had to go to work, only to find out that his workplace closed.  While Paul was gone, Little Man and I had to find something fun to do, and he found his xylophone.

Today we were able to spend another day as a family, being entertained by Little Man.  At Christmas, Grampa R gave Little Man a monkey hat.  It has made it's way through the family, and today we spent some time playing with it.

Brush teeth, brush toes

Tonight we are honoring teeth brushing time.  Now that Little Man has a mouthful of teeth, we are working on brushing them twice a day.  As you can tell, he also decided to brush his toes with his toothbrush too.  Oh to be 14 months and able to brush your toes and teeth at the same time.

 

New Year, New Beginnings

The other morning, Paul and I sat over breakfast and came up with some goals for 2014.  I don't want to say that they are resolutions, but definite goals.  It has always been important to me that we are on the same page with goals for us as a couple, and as a family, and it was nice to know that they two of us were actually on the same page.  Our goals are "simple."

The first is to read Scripture together as a family every day.  For a while we were doing really well, then life happened.  Having a small child at the table has severely impacted us reading together before going off to work.  There are some mornings that are better than others, but we are definitely going to work harder to make this happen.

The next two goals relate to our overall goal of healthy living and losing some weight.  We want to help James establish healthy habits in life, and we need to start that ourselves.  Before Little Man was even a thought, we had been walking 3-5 days a week together.  After Little Man came, we have been hit or miss with walking as a family, some months walking 3 times total.  2014 is going to change that.  Our goal is to walk together 3 days a week.  This is in addition to the jogging I will be starting in order to train for the town 5k run that is coming up.  Additionally we have been logging what we are eating, again pretty hit or miss.  Our goal is to log 6 days a week.  This gives us a "cheat" day once a week, most likely Sundays when we have NO CONTROL over what is being served.

Personally, I have decided that I want to try to document our life over the next year by taking at least one photo a day.  There is a popular website that serves as a host for this, but I have decided to keep it on a different platform.

Day 1

This is my Little Man, the reason that I get up and go to work every morning, which resumes tomorrow.  After a fairly large meltdown this morning, and some number crunching, we realized that me going to work is still a must.  There are still bills that need to be paid, debt that needs to be eliminated, and one salary is not quite enough to take care of that.  The good news is that the end is in sight.  I know that when the cards are paid off, I will be able to stay home.  In the meantime, I have to take teaching one day at a time, some days, one class at a time and one hour at a time.  It is really pushing me to find a new job, one where I don't have to worry about bringing work home (or not bringing work home), and one where I can go on vacation whenever I want, not when students are also on vacation.  This little guy keeps me going every day.  I have pictures of him all over my desk, reminding me why I am working.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas...

This year I have realized that I need to have priorities when it comes to Christmas and what gets done around the house.  Last year it seemed "easy" to get everything done because I was still home on maternity leave.  This meant that every day I could do a couple more things around the house to make it a little more Christmas-y, and I didn't feel like I was taking away from family time in the evenings.  Now that I am back to work and we have just a couple precious hours with Little Man before he goes to be at night, I have realized that there are some things that are just going to have to give this year.  I can do a lot of things, but I can't do everything.

Last weekend we were able to go out and get our tree before the great snow storm that arrived on Sunday, and boy am I glad we did.  It was a miserably cold day, but we managed to find a tree fairly quickly and get back home to the warmth pretty fast.  The snow allowed us to get lights on the tree Tuesday while all three of us were home due to the snow, and besides that, nothing has been done to the tree, and I'm okay with that.  We have a tree, we will be able to put presents AROUND the tree, and there are lights and the star on top.  If we don't get a single ornament on the tree this year it will be okay.

Yes, there is a part of me that wants to make this Christmas and every Christmas, perfect for Little Man, but I am realizing that with the perfection also comes disappointment and stress for me, and that's not worth it.  There were a few things that I decided were "musts" for Christmas this year.  Tree with lights AND the star, tree skirt around the tree, Nativity on the mantle with advent candles (which I must admit have NOT been lit this year), and stockings hung by the chimney with care.  Those things seemed like deal breakers to me.  It we didn't have them, it couldn't be Christmas.

Presents, Presents, Presents

The newest Target radio/Pandora commercial drives me crazy.  It is their newest toy ad, talking about all the sales they have going on right now on toys.  The thing that gets me is the little boy who starts the commercial by talking about how much he LOVES presents and that he wants MORE presents.  This scares me about raising a child these days.  We are trying to raise Little Man so that he is thankful for what he was given, and gives with a willing heart.

After many evening conversations Paul and I have decided on the 4 gift rule.  Now, I will add that this does not include anything that may go in the stocking, nor will it include the traditional Christmas Eve pajamas, but beyond that, 4 gifts.

The first gift is something he wants.  This year, it's a toy.  In the future it may be something else, but until he can articulate what he wants, we figured adding to his Little People collection would be great.

The second gift is something to wear.  A new outfit, a new jacket, shoes, as long as he can wear it, it can fall into this category.  We were asked by Nynna to postpone the Christmas jammies for 1 more year.  She had found matching PJs for all three of us and wanted to be able to give those to us this year.  That means Little Man's "something to wear" is new Superman jammies, complete with a cape that was printed onto the back of the shirt.  The original idea was to get Paul "matching" jammies, but I decided against it.

The third gift is something to read.  I found a book through Christian Book Distributor that I really wanted to get for Little Man.  A board book about the first Christmas, and of course, it is currently backordered.  When I ordered it, they said it would ship on or around the 9th.  Yesterday, when I looked, it has been put on hold, backorered to ship on or around the 30th.  Yeah, probably won't make it for Christmas, but that's alright.

And the fourth gift.  This is my favorite.  This is the one that Little Man doesn't keep, but instead picks out to give to someone else.  That's right, the fourth gift that Little Man "receives" is given away.  We might sponsor a local child and allow him to pick out the gift, or donate a toy to Toys For Tots.  This one we haven't quite worked out, and this one we aren't doing this year.  We figure he doesn't quite understand yet, and next year our plan is to allow him to pick something for someone we don't know.

We are hoping that by limiting what we provide for Christmas it will help with the "gimmees" and the commercialism that has become Christmas.  Our hope is to be able to focus more on the true reason for Christmas, and we are doing some things for that.  Another time, another place to go into that.  We just want Little Man to know the true reason we celebrate, why we spend so much time in anticipation, and how to show Christ's love during this crazy time of year.

How Effective Was Thanksgiving?

This came to me from my mentor teacher at school.  It's been quite the year already, and we still have quite a way to go.  The Danielson Guide to Highly Effective Teaching has been at the core of our teaching, causes some of us to lose sleep at night, others of us to scratch our heads wondering who thought this was a good model for evaluating teachers, and the rest of us are just riding the wave, waiting for the next big thing.

THE DANIELSON GUIDE TO HIGHLY EFFECTIVE THANKSGIVING

Ineffective: You don't know how to cook a turkey. You serve a chicken instead. Half your family doesn't show because they are unmotivated by your invitation, which was issued at the last minute via facebook. The other half turn on the football game and fall asleep. Your aunt tells your uncle where to stick the drumstick and a brawl erupts. Food is served on paper plates in front of the TV. You watch the game, and root for the Redskins.

Effective Developing: You set the alarm, but don't get up and the turkey is undercooked. 3 children are laughing while you say grace. 4 of your nephews refuse to watch the game with the rest of the family because you have failed to offer differentiated game choices. Conversation during dinner is marked by family members mumbling under their breath at your Aunt Rose, who confuses the Mayflower with the Titanic after her third Martini. Only the drunk guests thank you on the way out. Your team loses the game.

Effective: The turkey is heated to the right temperature. All the guests, whom you have invited by formal written correspondence, arrive on time with their assigned dish to pass. Your nephew sneaks near the desert dish, but quickly walks away when you mention that it is being saved until after dinner. You share a meal in which all family members speak respectfully in turn as they share their thoughts on the meaning of Thanksgiving. All foods served at the table can be traced historically to the time of the Pilgrims. You watch the game as a family, cheer in unison for your team. They win.

Highly Effective: The turkey, which has been growing free range in your back yard, comes in your house and jumps in the oven. The guests, who wrote to ask you please be invited to your house, show early with foods to fit all dietary and cultural needs. You watch the game on tape, but only as an video prompt for your family discussion of man's inhumanity to man. Your family plays six degrees of Sir Francis Bacon and is thus able to resolve, once and for all, the issue of whether Oswald acted alone.

I must say that our Thanksgiving was "Effective," and in the Warrior World, that is where we should be living.  No complaints here!

So it appears that I have been slacking..again...with the thankfulness challenge.  I wish I could come up with a good "reason," then I realize it's just an excuse.  Last night we did get in late after spending the evening with our small group for dinner and an event at church.  So late that all three of us ended up crawling into bed within minutes of walking through the door, but it's an excuse.

20 - Thankful for screaming fits that turn into a happy child playing.  Just opening Little Man's toybox brings joy to his face.  Thankful that my baby sister, Auntie Em, made the toybox for him.

21 - I am so thankful that we are part of a church that is so missional in focus, and not just worldwide.  They understand and realize that our own backyards are mission fields, and encourage us to also view them that way.  They challenge us to go out and be "on mission" at home, at work, in our neighborhoods and communitites.

Today I am thankful for bath nights because for just a short time Little Man and I have some time together, when nothing else seems to matter.  Tonight I realized how much he has grown in the past year, and how much he will continue to grow, and it is time to really cherish the moments when he still depends on me to keep him safe.

Giving Thanks

Every year I have the intention of doing the ever so trendy "What I'm thankful for today" posts, and every year I forget.  Here I am, 18 days into November, a week and a half out from Thanksgiving, and just sitting down to start thinking about it.  With all the craziness of school lately, and with how down I've been about it, it's been very hard for me to actually sit and identify some of the things I am thankful for, but here goes nothing.

1 - Being able to go out to lunch with Paul.  Being a teacher I have so few opportunities to have lunch with anyone other than my department members, having a lunch date is wonderful
2 - Having the money to buy groceries, without having to worry about whether or not we would have enough to eat for the week
3 - Serving as part of the Medical Team at church, and NOT having to respond to any emergencies
4 - A Monday when I wasn't observed.
5 - Walking by the side of Paul through life for the last 9 years, sharing the adventure of marriage for the last 2

Flowers Paul gave me for our anniversary

6 - A little boy who seems to be growing up so fast, and wanting to be so independent.

Little Man drawing all by himself

7 - An amazing small group to meet with every week and dive into Scripture, and share the trials and triumphs of life with
8 - A mother-in-law willing to watch Little Man for the weekend so Paul and I could get away for our anniversay
9 - Spending the day with just Paul, and not worrying about James...and an amazing date night dinner at King's Arms Tavern in Colonial Williamsburg

Fountain outside Jamestown Historic area

10 - A fast trip home from Williamsburg, and a crying baby when we got home.  Thankful for tears because when he finally calmed down, realizing Mommy and Daddy were home, the smiles were HUGE and the cuddles were much needed
11 - All the men and women who have served our country.  Especially thankful for all my family members who have served, and the spouses and children who served at home.
12 - Snowflakes, even just a few, to distract myself and my students.
13 - A job that I can come to every day, and a mission field that can be so difficult.  I love my students, and hate what education has become, but thankful that I can come into this place everyday and try to be a consistent face for some of my students who have no consistency in their life.

work...planning...trying to find time to tach

14 - A laughing fit with a class for a good 15 minutes.  A great way to relieve some of the tension of school
15 - Homemade pizza and adult beverages.  A night at home, catching up on missed television shows.
16 - An unexpected check in the mail, that way we can have dinner with friends on Thursday evening and not have to "borrow" from next week's food budget or the savings account
17 - FABULOUS children's ministry at church.  I know I can drop Little Man off and not have to worry about his well being while I help with older students and worship myself
18 - A beautiful day outside so that my failed lab doesn't stink us completely out of the classroom...and the fact that the guy next door was being observed, meaning I am off the hook today.

Seems I have caught up...for now.  It makes me a little sad that for just one month, I can't take 5 minutes to think about what I've been thankful for thday day.  I have plenty of time to check Facebook statuses, Tweets and Instagrams pictures, but I just "don't seem to have enough time" for reflecting on what really matters.  This has to change.  My attitude has to change about work, and money and life in general.

Blueberry Cake

As Paul and I were preparing for our wedding, the church required that we go through a mentoring program before we could get married in the church.  We had a wonderful couple who we still run into and have a wonderful time chatting with when we do see them.  Every week Sharon would make some sort of dessert for us to have during our time together, and one week she made a wonderful blueberry cake.  She explained to us that the recipe actually came from her neighbor who is now blind, but who would make this fantastic cake for them on occasion.  Sharon was kind enough to share the recipe with me, and I have since made it numerous times for various occasions.  Most recently Paul and I had to bring breakfast for Sunday School, so I decided I was going to make the blueberry cake.

Everyone at Sunday School loved the cake, and Little Man loves it too!

Today Little Man tried to lick the plate because he enjoyed it so much.

Blueberry Cake

1 cup softened butter

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 cups flour

1 pint blueberries

Cream butter and sugar.  Lightly beat the eggs and mix them with the butter/sugar mixture.  Add vanilla and mix well.  Reserve 1/4 cup flour, add remaining flour to sugar mixture.  Dredge blueberries with reserved flour and fold into sugar/flour mixture.  Pour into a greased fluted pan and bake at 375 for 1 hour.  Dust top with powdered sugar once removed from pan.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Bars

This dessert is one of Paul's favorites, and one his mom makes fairly frequently during the summer.  Today we were talking, and I mentioned that I wondered how they would taste as chocolate peanut butter chips bars.  This led to an impromptu trip to the grocery store to pick up the necessary ingredients and the experimentation could begin.  Frankly I have been thinking that the recipe could be modified some for a while now, but have come to realize that there are some things that are sacred when it comes to recipes we have been given.  I was super excited when Paul wanted to modify the recipe slightly, gives me the chance to take some tried and true recipes and make them my own.

Chocolate Chip Bars

1 package yellow (or white) cake mix
1/4 cup water
2 eggs
1/4 cup soft butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 package chocolate chips

Combine cake mix, water, eggs, butter, and brown sugar.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Bake in a jellyroll pan in a 375 degree oven for 20-25 minutes.

Chocolate Zucchini Bread

Last summer we ended up with an over-abundance of zucchini, so I had to find a way to use some of it.  We are fans of breakfast breads, well actually bread in general, and so I was on a search for a zucchini bread recipe.  I found this recipe from the Joy of Baking, and started shredding zucchini.  As I was making the bread the first time, I realized that there were some ingredients that we either didn't have, or that I couldn't find, so I made some emergency substitutions, and we LOVED it.  We liked it so much that I decided to make it again, this time, with the original ingredients, and while it was good, it just wasn't the same.  So what made the bread so magical?  My secret ingredients...

 

That's right, Nesquik and Hershey's bars.  I found that there was no stopping a pregnant woman on a mission and I REALLY wanted to make this zucchini bread.  Partially because I was sick of seeing MULTIPLE zucchini sitting on the counter, partially because I was excited about finding a way to "hide" the zucchini in some yummy chocolate bread.

We did make the bread according to the recipe, once the "babybrain" subsided a little and I placed my fingers on the cocoa powder, and frankly, we just didn't like it as much.

Nesquik Zucchini Bread

1 1/2 to 2 cups shredded raw zucchini
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup Nesquik
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 Hershey bars chopped
2 large eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350.  Grease a loaf pan.

Grate zucchini and set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, Nesquik, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.  Mix in chocolate.

In mixing bowl, beat the eggs, add oil, sugars, and vanilla extract.  Mix until well blended.  Add zucchini and mix well.  Slowly add the flour mixture and blend until combined.  Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake until the bread has risen and a toothpick is inserted into the center and comes out clean (55-65 minutes).  Place on a wire rack to cool for about 10 minutes, then remove the bread from the pan and cool completely.

This can be stored at room temperature for a few days, but in our house, we are lucky if it lasts to the second day.

Morning Refections

This morning has been particularly difficult for me, knowing that in just about a month I head back to school, in a couple weeks Little Man will go to his new daycare for the first time, and that I will no longer be able to spend my days watching him grow and experience new things.  The last few weeks have been such a blessing because I have been able to hang out at home with Little Man and watch him develop into a joyful little guy who is stubborn, determined and brings a smile to just about everyone's face, even when he is screaming.

Yesterday was one of those days.  Tuesday he broke his third tooth, an upper tooth, and the other three up there are days away from breaking through his gums, making for a sore little guy who only knows how to tell me he is in pain by screaming.  I so wanted to be able to take that pain from him yesterday, and knew that there was not much I could do other than try to comfort him and redirect his attention to other things.  And this is one of those things that breaks my heart about going back to work.  I won't be the one who is able to do that for him during the day, that will be the responsibility of someone else.  Don't get me wrong, we are so thankful for the placement that we have for Little Man and are very pleased with the facility and the staff that will be working with him, but it is new and unfamiliar territory for us right now.  When I went back to work in January, Little Man's Godparents watched him during the day.  I knew he was in wonderful hands, and the people watching him are like family to us.  This fall is a completely different situation.  He will no longer be in the home and arms of people we know so well and who we know love Little Man.  He will be in very capable hands of providers at the Child Development Center on Post, he will be cared for, he will play with other children close to his age, and Paul will be able to visit him during lunch, but it's not the same.  I know that at this season in his life, this is where Little Man needs to be.  It is still our goal that I stay home with him and teach him, and we are taking steps toward making that goal a reality, it just isn't reality yet.

Letting go is hard.  Knowing that Little Man will be receiving excellent care helps a little.  I know that part of my hesitation and anxiety stems from work and the fact that every day last spring I had to convince myself to get out of the car and walk through the doors at work.  When someone asks if I love my job I can honestly tell them no.  Do I still love teaching and working with students? Yes.  Do I still like the people that I teach with?  Yes.  Do I like my administration? No.  Do I agree with their decision?  Most of the time, no.  Are there days when I would rather stay home and snuggle with Little Man?  Yes, in fact those days are more frequent than I would like to admit.  My heart isn't in it 100% anymore and I realize that.  I still love watching the kids have an "ah ha" moment, when everything clicks.  I love watching those struggling students start to succeed and really start to think that they can do it.  I love hearing about where my graduates are and how they are succeeding, and my heart goes out to those who aren't doing as well as we all thought they might.  I still root for the underdog, the one everyone this is a failure, and I live for the smiles when students do better than even they expected.  I am fed up with the education system in the US.  I fear the fact that student performance is linked to my pay and evaluation.  I hate the fact that I often feel as though I am standing alone, and there is no one to advocate for me.  I am tired of being told that I don't know how to teach science by former football coaches, history teachers, and people who haven't sat in a science class for at least 15 years.  I am tired of being told that teaching math so the kids can do science isn't my job, but that I have to incorporate common core (math and reading) into each lesson.

I am going into this school year knowing that it is going to be a challenge, and accepting that challenging.  Balancing Mom, Wife and Mrs. Lilley is going to be a challenge unlike the one I experienced last year due to the new demands placed on me at work.  I am going back to work confident that Little Man is going to be taken care of, challenged to grow, and in the right place.  Does any of this make the transition any easier?  Absolutely not, but I have a wonderful support system at home, and I know that we are a team.  My administration does not know that family comes first, and that if the opportunity arises for me to be able to focus on my family, that I won't let it go.  I know that I will be able to work with youth in some capacity, and I don't think that I am done working with teens, but I do see this season of my life coming to an end.  The end is unclear, but there is a sense that it is coming.  While I am saddened by it, I can't help but remember Ecclesiastes 3:1,  "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

Camping as a Family of Three

The weekend was one of many firsts.  Our first camping trip as a family of three, Little Man's first experience with pizza crust, his first trip to the ocean, and his first big fall.  We were blessed with a pop-up camper for our wedding from Paul's grandparents, and decided that we wanted to take it out this year for a mini-vacation.  Unfortunately, it was pouring on Friday when we left for Killen's Pond State Park in Felton, DE, and the tension was high as we made the trek, as there were spots with standing water in the roads that rose to the bottom of the door on many small cars.  We made it safely to the park, Paul backed the camper into the spot on the first try, and got the camper set up, all in the pouring rain.  By the time he was done, he was soaked to the bone, and was glad when I suggested that we go out for dinner rather than trying to make dinner either in the camper or under the small canopy with whipping winds and rain.

Saturday morning we piled into the van to make the trek to Ocean City, MD to spend some time at the beach and with Paul's mom, but realized that the battery was angry with us for leaving doors open for too long on Friday, and we had to ask for a jump from our nice neighbors.  We made it to OC in time for lunch, so to Dough Rollers we went, and Little Man was able to experience the joys of pizza crust for the first time.

After lunch we headed down to the beach, and watched Little Man experience sand and cold ocean water for the first time.  Fortunately he didn't seem to mind the sand on his hands, feet, arms, legs and even his face.  The water, on the other hand, was not quite as positive of an experience.

We didn't spend a lot of time at the camper, in fact, the most time we spent there was Saturday evening (most of which Little Man was asleep for) and Sunday morning when we were trying to get packed up.  This is when Little Man had his first fall.  He woke us up at an unacceptable time for vacation (5 am), but we changed and fed him, then the three of us fell back asleep until about 8:30.  This was wonderful, until we realized that we didn't have much time to get packed up and pull out, especially since Paul had to run to Wal-Mart for a new tow bar and ball wrench, and Little Man was not focusing too well on his breakfast.  This made us try to hurry, but get everything packed where it was supposed to go, and I made the mistake of leaving Little Man in one of those nice folding camp chairs.  He had been sitting so nicely, so I walked to the other end of the picnic table to grab something when I heard a thud and then his cry.  Fortunately we made it out with just a couple scrapes and a scared little boy, but after much observations and cuddling, we had our babbling, restless Little Man back, eating Cheerios like a champ, talking to "Da-da," and watching the pretty yellow and black butterfly that found it's way into our campground.

 We managed to pull out of our spot exactly 5 minutes before checkout time, and headed to the "water park" that the state park has.  It was a nice set up of three pools, two for children and one larger pool.  The pool for the smallest patrons was zero entry, shallow enough that little guys could stand, but deep enough that parents could relax a little and soak while the little guys played.  Our Little Man was no exception.  He LOVED the water, and would scoot himself a little deeper as he became a little more bold.

The weekend seemed like a comedy of errors, and for some it would have been enough to never camp again.  For us, we decided that a camping trip can't get much worse and we are looking forward to more trips in the future.  We have a lot of work to do on the camper, a lot of organizing and purging, and trying to figure out how to make it our own, but we know that we have a little home away from home for a family vacation option.

We are trying to start the fire

We have started to get ready for our first camping trip as a family of three.  Sure, last may we went on a "babymoon" camping, but it is not the same as having a 9-month old attempting to get into everything.  And let's face it, Little Man tries to get into everything.  Just the day I was sitting on the floor with him and snapping fresh green beans that we got from our CSA, and Little Man decided that he wanted to try them.  Before I could wash any of the green beans he had 2 in his hands and was chomping away at them.  So yes, it was partly my fault for sitting on the floor while doing this, but someone had to keep an eye on him.

I digress...so we are getting ready to go camping.  We have started planning menus, have started making list after list of "stuff" we need, and we realized that we may (or may not) need fire starters for the weekend.  I told Paul that I would take care of them, having made fire starters for YEARS in this way, and being convinced this is the best way to start a fire.  Paul's ideal way to make a fire is to stack the wood and add an accelerant.  What can I say, I married and Eagle Scout, and my particular Eagle has some pyro tendencies when we are out in the woods.  I have been trying to convince him for years that the egg carton filled with dryer lint and wax is the best way to start a fire (after properly stacking the wood either in a tee-pee shape or log cabin arrangement), and most of the time he humors me and uses my methods.  Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised this week when he saved the dryer lint for me as we were trying to catch up on laundry, AND saving the paper egg carton from our CSA eggs.  Apparently I may have converted him to the "dark side" using an old Girl Scout trick.

While slightly time consuming, these fire starters couldn't be easier to make.  I always start by stuffing the PAPER egg crate with lint.  I try to pack it pretty tightly, and it never ceases to amaze me how much lint fits into those little wells, then I get the wax melting.  I know, as far as time goes, I should probably do it the other way around, but what I can say, I'm a creature of habit.  We have found that the best way to melt down candles for wax is to put the candles in a caning jar, and "double boil" it.  The jar get a fair amount of direct heat, but we have not had any problems, and this keeps almost all of the wax out of the pot we use.  The amount of wait time at this point will vary depending on the size of the candle (or wax pieces) that are being sacrificed to the fire.  Today I used tapers we had lying around as test candles for  our wedding, allowed them to heat up a little and then broke them in half, and they are taking forever to melt.  Fortunately I have an unexpected nap from Little Man right now, so I am able to eat lunch in the kitchen which keeping an eye on the melting wax, all while listening to "I want to fall in love with you," sung by Jars of Clay and have visions of the silly Christian Mingle commercial running through my head.  What a way to ruin a song for someone.  Again I digress.  Before pouring the wax into the egg crate I try to remember to cover my work surface with newspaper (multiple sections, layered over each other) so that when I spill it will be easier to clean up.

As I poured the melted candles into the crate, I realized that a couple more candles would have to make it into the fire, mostly because you want the lint covered with the wax.

With the extra wax, I decided to make some of those fancy fire starters floating around cyberspace that use the cotton facial rounds, just to see how they would work.

Once everything was cooled, into the bag of miscellaneous things that need to find a home on the camper they went.

Green Bean Carpet Box

Last year we decided that it was important to start supporting our local farms in a bigger way.  There is a wonderful dairy not far from us that have an ice cream "stand," where they sell homemade ice cream along with cheeses, milk, meat and hot lunches.  As summer was approaching, and the end of school was closing in on us, we made the decision to support one of the local produce farms by joining their CSA.  We had such a great experience, and so much produce that there were times when we would try to give away some of the fruits and vegetables that we had.

This year we decided to join the CSA again, and were so excited when we realized that Little Man would be able to eat a lot of the fruits and veggies that we were going to get.  So far we have received quite a bit of great vegetables, and even our first dozen ears of corn.  It has all been so good, and there have been times when have had an over abundance of produce, but that didn't stop us.  We had the opportunity to purchase a half bushel of green beans to freeze and can.  So we brought home our "special" green beans.

When we brought this box home it was heaping.  I have found that shelling peas/beans and snapping green beans somewhat calming.  Little Man and I started working on our box o' beans.  I started trimming and breaking them apart and throwing them into a stock pot, and Little Man was taking them out of the pot to snack on them.

Yes, he had HANDFULS of beans that he was enjoying.

This look says it all.  Little Man loves the fresh beans and spent almost an hour with his beans and gnawing on them with his two little teeth.

Because it was so difficult to take care of the beans, and because I knew they needed to be processed sooner rather than later, I took care of them last night after Little Man went to bed.  I was working on them while Paul and I were watching our new favorite show "Sherlock," and it seemed like the bottom of the box was never going to appear.  We decided to can as many of the beans as possible because our freezer space, and it is easier to store canned beans.

Into the pressure canner the jars went, in shifts, during nap time today.

Four quarts and 7 pints canned, plus 1 gallon blanched and in the freezer with 27 1-oz servings frozen.

Granola Bars

We are always looking for a good granola bar recipe, mostly because we never buy them but always seem to want them.  Last summer I made some, and they were okay, but they were super sticky and it took us a while to eat them.  This summer, I stumbled upon this recipe (a basic granola bar recipe), which I modified slightly for the first batch.  The first time around I made cranberry white chocolate granola bars with some sunflower seeds added.  They were a hit, and within a week they were gone.

Cranberry White Chocolate Granola Bars
3 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup sliced almonds
1/8 cup sunflower seeds

1/2 cup craisins
1 cup white chocolate chips
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup brown sugar
11 T butter, melted
1 egg
1 t vanilla

In a large bow mix oats and nuts.  Spread them evenly into a jelly roll pan, and bake in a preheated 350 oven for 15-20 minutes.

Mix the rest of the ingredients in a bowl (I just the same bowl that I mixed the granola in).  Make sure to let the butter cool a little after it has melted so that it doesn't cook the egg.  

When the granola is done, dump into the bowl and mix well.  I found that mixing with my hands worked much better than with the spoon (although MUCH messier).

Grease jelly roll pan and press the mixture FIRMLY into the pan.  The more firmly it is packed, the less likely the granola bars will be to fall apart.  I used the paper from the butter to press the granola so it wouldn't stick to my hands, next time I think I will use a glass 9x13 pan.

Bake for about 20 minutes or until edges are golden brown.  I baked mine for about 25 minutes until the top was golden brown (mostly because I couldn't see well in the kitchen).

Remove from oven and allow to cool.  Cut into desired size.  I cut the bars in half so that I had two long, narrower pieces of granola bar, then each of those halves into 9 or 10 pieces.  Each bar was wrapped individually in plastic wrap then stored in a gallon-sized zipper bag.

These were a HUGE hit in the house.  Putting in a little extra work up front (by wrapping them individually) made it super easy to grab one on the go.

**As I was writing this post, I was working on our second batch of granola bars.  This time we decided on peanut butter with some chocolate.  I used the same basic recipe, with a few minor changes.

Peanut Butter Granola Bars with Chocolate Drizzle
3 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup honey roasted peanuts

1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup brown sugar
6 T butter, melted
5 T peanut butter, melted
1 egg
1 t vanilla

These turned out even better than the first time around.  I used a greased 9x9 glass pan in order to press the granola bar mixture into the jelly roll pan, which resulted in a bar that didn't fall apart nearly as quickly as the first batch.  These also weren't nearly as sweet as the first batch.  We didn't realize just how sweet they were originally, but once we tasted these, we knew we had a winner.